Walk By Faith And Not By Sight

It takes one unexpected bill in the mail, one collection call, one doctor visit that reveals a battery of costly tests and treatment plans and right in a flash the wind is knocked out of me. My false sense of security is planted in the echoing emptiness of my bank account. I hit my knees, breathless without hope, exhausted from trying to be strong and doing the paycheck to paycheck juggling act. Please God, take this financial pain from me. Show me what I am doing wrong and what I can do better. Lord take my finances and transform them in a way only you can. Take my talents and place me in a flexible job that I can care for my family and my finances. 

And after the tears are streaming down my face I have to consciously push aside my fear and worry and combat those thoughts with scripture that bring me back to truth. Truth that God, the provider, the healer, the prince of peace, the one whom loves me more than I can imagine, will bring me through this. God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1b Worry equals mistrust. I am a control person. I want to control the situation and the outcome. I want to have a handle on where I am going in life. I don't like to rely on anyone nor ask for help and I am independent to a fault and here I am on my knees relinquishing my fear, my control, and my mistrust and laying down my independence. I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

So I will dry my tears. I will pick myself back up. We will make a new plan. I will have faith in God to work this out for my good (Romans 8:28). I will wait on the Lord for his help because He is faithful (Isaiah 30:18) and I will continue to refill myself with the Word of God to give me peace and hope. I will move forward, one step at a time, one day at a time, one challenge at a time. I will will be strong and courageous, not afraid or discouraged (Joshua 1:9) not only for myself but for my three amazing children who count on me, look up to me, and who I am teaching by my actions and by living out my faith. And now it is time for me to be unceasing in prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and wait for his provisions and answers as I walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)